Top Ten Worst Films of 2014

For every exceptional film there is always a bad one. It is just the way of the industry and with this list I am going through the very worst of what has still been a great year. But 2014 was not free of mistakes, and here are the ten worst of them.

Gross Jury Prizes

Most film festivals make a category for films that didn’t quite make their main list but were just as good or in this case bad. My five GJP’s are A Million ways to Die in the West , Into the Storm, Need for Speed, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transcendence.

10: Robocop

Though not as bad as it could have been this remake was still quite miserable, lacking in everything that made the original great, amazing action, dark comedy and men getting soaked in toxic waste. Furthermore, any film that has Keaton Oldman and Jackson together but fails to make an impression deserves to be on this list.

9: The Other Woman

Every year Cameron Diaz seems to get less comical and less serious simultaneously. This poor excuse for a revenge comedy is a prime example of that, filled with uninteresting characters and too many jokes that fall flat.

8: Men Women and Children

What attempts to be a judgemental drama is really a stern telling off disguised as a film. It has a magnet pressed against its moral compass and is as transparent as a sheet of glass.

7: The Legend of Hercules

 Who would have thought that out of two films that are essentially copies of each other the one directed by Brett Ratner would be superior, this one is more of a comedy than an epic.

6: Grace of Monaco

On paper this film should be a riveting historical drama, instead it never finds the right tone or the right severity with its actors. It feels out of touch and disconnected with its subject and drama.

5: Dracula Untold

What was supposed to be a reboot of the classic monster craze has become a parody of everything that the classic genre stood for. Even Charles Dance was disappointing, that says a lot.

4: I Frankenstein

No one wanted to be involved with this film and it’s easy to see why. The plot is ridiculous and unstructured, the special effects are terrible and the acting feels really half-arsed, I surrender.

3: Blended

By this point no worst film list would be complete without Adam Sandler, Blended just feels like an excuse for him to have a vacation with no surprises, laughs or anything else really, what else?

2: Ouija

Take every horror cliché you can think of but remove any amount of fun, cast talent, visual pleasure, suspense or scares of any kind and you have this film, produced by Michael Bay. Speaking of which…

1: Transformers: Age of Extinction

It’s one thing for a film to be bad, but for one of this quality to make more money than any other this year… it annoys you slightly, or a lot. People keep thinking these movies will be good and every time they are complete garbage. The same substitute story for explosion technique is tiresome and ineffective . Any film that has to stop dead to explain why it’s okay to fantasise over an underage girl is naturally terrible. This could also be the start of a very sad and bleak part of the cinema industry, one where films are made to be sold internationally. That means deliberately cutting down dialogue to save translations, where explosions travel further than words and changing locations purely to make it more appealing to communist censors. Why do the Transformers go to China, because Bay sees money there. It’s a painful experience and for me, the worst movie of 2014.
So what's your least likable film of 2014, leave a comment below to tell me and tomorrow the best of the year list is coming.  

Exodus: Gods and Kings

"I came to tell you something is coming that is far beyond you or I."

Biblical films could become the next big thing. The technology we have now can portray all of the Bible’s stories in their full scope and nature. Noah received fairly polarised reviews but most seemed to agree that it tackled the story on an epic scale that had not been seen before. With Ridley Scott’s take on the tale of Moses things are sadly, much the same.

Adopted son of the current Pharaoh and brother to the future one, Moses is forced to sacrifice his life of luxury when he discovers that his true heritage comes from the Hebrew people who are currently enslaved to the Egyptians. He also faces a huge task that has been set for him by God to convince his brother to ‘Let my people go’.

If anyone could tackle this story it would be the director of Gladiator. Ridley Scott specialises in creating entire worlds within his films as we’ve seen with Blade Runner and Gladiator. However in Exodus the ancient Egypt feels relatively small and relies too much on CGI. Though there are many practical effects and on set locations, it fails to leave a lasting impression especially for such a wide scale plot. Though the massive scope of Egypt is captured it doesn’t feel thoroughly fleshed out.

Christian Bale does give quite an outstanding performance as Moses here. The character is written in a unique but very interesting style, being sceptical of religion in general and not only is he not understanding, but also completely unsympathetic and unconcerned with the plight of the Hebrews. There are a lot of human elements added and they are all made believable with Bale’s portrayal, he’s shown as a reluctant hero who has to grow accept his own identity as well as the immense challenge of facing his past that he has been running from. He also doesn’t totally respect or fear god throughout, he wants and tries to defy him, sometimes putting his family and own human reluctance before the demands of the creator. He also shows considerable concern for the innocent people caught in his dispute with Rameses. It helps Bale’s Moses remain relatable and never drifting into wooden territory.

Sadly the supporting cast aren’t as prominent, Joel Edgerton as Rameses fails to make the character menacing or powerful. Ralph Fiennes does a better job in The Prince of Egypt, speaking of which, the character in Exodus could learn a lot from the way that the same man is portrayed and written in Dreamwork’s animated biblical story. Rather than being more of a spoilt brat he’s quite reckless as a child, wishing to break free of responsibility. But under pressure from his father he is hardened into a ruthless ruler who is eager not to be, as his father described him and he later described himself, ‘the weak link’. With this version of Rameses I felt rather undecided over how to feel about him when he’s swallowed by the Red Sea.

Though there are some big players and talented actors in supporting roles such as Ben Kingsley and Sigourney Weaver they fail to register with so little screen time. They do a satisfactory job, but in an epic of this scale there is not enough time or talent shown to make then stand out.

The most impressive element of this film must be Scott’s interpretation of the ten plagues. Here they are brought to life as unstoppable forces of nature rather than a fantasy spectacle. They’re vile and horrific like something out of a disaster film. However the result of this is that the scene that should be the climax, the crowning glory, the Red Sea, feels underwhelming.

Though it understands the scope and intricate emotional trauma of what a tale such as this requires for an accurate retelling, the world lacks heart and detail within, as well as the less than satisfying secondary characters that would make Exodus epic rather than just impressive.

Result: 5/10

Your Guide to 2015

Welcome to 2015, and here is a quick guide to what must be one of the most promising years for films in cinema history. Everything from big blockbusters to indie favourites, this is what you need to look out for.

Blockbusters

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Undoubtedly the current champion of this competition, if this film does not tip the scale to make the Marvel Cinematic Universe the most successful franchise of all time it will be the biggest flop of all time. But we know that won’t happen, the only real question seems to be when will the film stop making money, can it outdo the first (third highest grossing film of all time) and break the record to be the biggest of all time.

Mockingjay Part 2

Starting as an underdog, now a high contender, although Part 1 was not my cup of tea it was a ruthless build up to this finale. If it finds the right audience and despite my problems with the third film it still makes an immensely entertaining series that should end on a high.

Spectre

Riding on the success of Skyfall comes the 24^th instalment. Though we still don’t know much about the plot, but if you believe all the rumours then Craig might be passing the role over after this film, we know the cast with Christophe Waltz’s appearing as the villain and Sam Mendes returning to direct. Things look positive.

Jurassic World

Few films have changed the scope of cinema as much as the original JP. None of the sequels have lived up to the original and today it takes more than realistic effects to stand out. JW will have to pull something out of the bag to impress, but Chris Pratt takes the lead role and we still love the T-Rex.

Terminator Genesis

I know the title is spelt differently but I refuse to spell Gen-i-sys on principle. Whether or not this film is good is a different argument, whether it will make money is a foregone conclusion. Also, a reboot/ sequel could be the Days of Future Past move for this franchise, down but not quite out.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

The returning champion, the big contender, if any film has the potential to wipe all others off the face of the planet it’s Star Wars, with the original cast mixed with a new one, original writer meets new director, this will be a hit. It is difficult to see another film this decade that will be more anticipated than this, I view the biggest battle being between Avengers and Star Wars.

Dark Horses

Ant-Man

Marvel’s most troubled production, with Edgar Wright (who I like so I have to be sceptical) leaving the project. Possibly the quirkiest superhero yet, but Strange(r) is to come in phase three (get it).This back to basics story of one man starting his path could be a nice reminder of the Marvel spirit.

Mad Max: Fury Road

Road Fury sounds more grammatically correct, but regardless the trailer alone makes this reboot look spectacular. Admittedly this franchise hasn’t aged well so a new instalment with Tom Hardy may be a real money-maker, attracting old and new fans alike.

The Fantastic Four

Possible the most rushed remake in recent history, some may people may be optimistic but I am really sceptical. It may have a promising cast and director, but the film is eight months away and we haven’t seen anything, no pictures, trailer, footage or even poster, it worries me a bit.

The Hateful Eight

The eighth film from Tarantino nearly never happened, and now that it has I think we should be more excited for it than we are, even with a year of blockbusters a western from Quentin is still a tantalising prospect. Includes more bounty hunters, more violence and more Samuel L Jackson, I like.

A Few More

Teen fiction will explode with the next instalments of Divergent and Maze Runner, a new Neil Blomkamp project CHAPPiE containing more robots, Mission Impossible 5 and Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman could rival Bond in espionage, Fast and Furious 7, Brad Brid’s Tommorowland, the Wachowski’s Jupiter Ascending starring Channing Tatum, can Seth MacFarlane do better this year with a sequel Ted 2, animated features include Inside out and The Good Dinosaur from Pixar and The Minions Movie, Chris Columbus’ Pixels looks interesting and finally a film from Robert Zemeckis and Joseph Gordon Levitt The Walk  based on Phillip Piette’s tightrope walk between the twin towers.

I think that’s everything, or did I miss something you were looking forward to. Leave a comment below if I did and to everyone else, let me know what you’re most looking forward to in 2015. I can only be sure of one thing, It’ll be a hell of a year.     

50 Years of Sergio Leone's Leone's Spaghetti Westerns

"In this world there's two kinds of people my friend, those with loaded guns, and those who dig."

Though I already wished everyone a happy new year in my supposed final entry of 2014 I would be remised if I did not mention the very special birthday of a very special film series. Many films have significant anniversaries this year, but none have been as influential on modern cinema as Sergio Leone’s Dollars Trilogy. Modern cinema simply would not exist as we know it without these films, they have touched and affected everyone and everything from Joss Whedon to Quentin Tarantino.

Few would have thought that an Italian American director, who hardly spoke any English, making a western when the genre was thought to be dying out, based on Akira Kurosawa’s Yojimbo  and starring the only people who didn’t previously turn the roles down, could become such an astonishing success. The series starts in small backwater towns and ends in epic style with the Civil War as a backdrop, it lacked the sentimental morals traditional westerns would try to shove down your throat, instead the films were filled with violent and sadistic behaviour  from its central characters.

The unique style created a new kind of buzz on a global scale, it gave the entire genre new life. With its flawed, more interesting and more relatable characters it captivated audiences on several levels. Humour was laced throughout as well, it was never thought that films like this could contain humour amidst all of the shootouts and gun slinging, but they did. Leone broke all of the rules and he didn’t care about it. Things were done in his own way and nothing demoted the exclusive feel he wanted to generate.

They were not light hearted stories, but they had a deeper thoughts implanted. The Dollars trilogy dealt with betrayal and honour, as well as the American dream and spirit. It is remarkable how well the foreign filmmaker captured the trials and tribulations of the American Civil War. Grand themes such as these could easily be bungled by other filmmakers, but here there is an excellent proof of how Leone took a history that wasn’t his own and filled it with the human heart.

Leone once said that westerns were filled with ‘violent and uncomplicated men’ and although his characters definitely fill the former, they are most certainly an accurate description of the latter. Though they may be, as already stated, violent, emotionally disconnected questionable political beliefs audiences still connect with the characters today. By the time you reach the scene in the graveyard at the end of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly you feel as if you have gone on a genuine journey with these people.

The extra edge has to come from that incredible music score from Ennio Morricone which Leone uses to his full advantage, as well as the inclusion of sound, it’s exclusion from some scenes adds to the terrific tension. The silence, reaction shots, followed by brutal bursts of violence were techniques invented here by Leone. The use of all of these things went against what was considered normal for the most prestigious Hollywood pictures, let alone a blood filled series of westerns.

You don’t have to like the classic John Wayne era of westerns to adore Leone’s films, take it from me because the earlier statement is my answer to the question ‘Do you like Cowboy films?’ Any director that uses wide angle shots probably does so from an influence by Leone. The films somehow heightened the reality of the genre but presented it in a format only plausible on the big screen. Hitchcock and many others saw no potential in widescreen due to the jarring between shots, but Leone used the jarring to great effect, jumping from desolate landscapes to close ups.

I would be lying if I said that the Leone westerns were recognised as classics instantly, they broke the mold at the time as well as today, but it was still regarded as a short craze. But like so many classic films, not only have Leone’s work refused to pass from memory, it gains new audiences constantly, and it will undoubtedly do so for years to come. 

So what's your favourite Leone film, or is there something you like about his films in general, leave a comment below and one again, happy new year!

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

"You have but one question to answer. How shall this day end?"

Peter Jackson’s Middle Earth is finally concluding with this instalment. Is it supposed to be a finale to the series though, after all, the main event of this story is yet to occur chronologically with the War of the Ring, so it is difficult to make an actual ending to this generation defining saga in this film. So what does this film have to do, conclude, say goodbye, give us a final taste of what we love about Tolkien’s world, I’m not really sure. Be warned, having read the book previously I may forget that some people are experiencing this story for the first time on film, possible slight spoilers ahead.

Picking up immediately after the last film this one sees a vengeful Smaug turning his attention to Lake Town. Then the company of Thorin has to deal with several things, the lost Arkenstone, their king’s obsession, enemies attracted to the mountain from far and wide and not forgetting the return of the Dark Lord’s armies.

I was initially worried about the last minute title change, from There and Back Again, to Five Armies, for me it felt like calling the Two Towers the Battle of Helm’s Deep. But to the film’s credit it does make a point of having a necessary change as nearly half of this film is a battle, without any changes in location or time, just one long drawn out battle shown from many perspectives. It ranges from the heat of the main battlefield to private duels between the Orc and Dwarf leaders. They are all very impressive to look at as well, an epic conflict set to a stunning backdrop.

I will start with the things I enjoyed most and that comes from the character arcs, similarly to Lord of the Rings, as good as big battles are I always love to see the intimate relations and emotions that the characters go through. For a start Bilbo’s arc through this trilogy makes him a better literary character than Frodo for me. The fact that he’s a reluctant hero that chooses to go on this adventure rather than being mostly forced into it as his nephew was makes him more interesting in my opinion. The fact that this Hobbit manages to step up to the challenge but holds onto his small comforts in life, combined with Martin Freeman’s continually wonderful portrayal makes him the undisputed central character, as he should be.

Thorin is another really good tale of character in this finale, his descent into madness is slow and almost seems in conjunction with his previous attitudes throughout the series for most of the time. The two characters not only have great personal stories, but their relationship is crafted very well, it goes from scepticism to respect to betrayal and finally friendship. I’m also glad that Benedict Cumberbatch’s Smaug got a last bit of screen time, because that is pretty impressive.

Some have criticised this series for deviating too much from the book. But I was surprised to find that the concluding elements of the book remain the same. My argument would be that you can deviate slightly in the middle as long as you reach the same finishing point, as Jackson and Tolkien have done. An example would be how I was expecting more changes to come to give the added Dwarf-Elf romance a happy ending, but… (sorry, I warned you of slight spoilers).

There are problems though, primarily the fact that this series should have been two films. The emotional weight had been played out and stretched too much to have a huge effect by now. Also, at the start of this film you will meet Alfred again, and you will really wish you hadn’t. His involvement is completely unnecessary, he’s not especially menacing or comical, just annoying. You also have to wonder why people keep giving him important jobs when he’s clearly useless ‘Alfred guard the prisoner, protect my children, lead the evacuation’. There’s not even a satisfying death for him. There’s not much relief either, it’s all action or heavy emotions.

In terms of emotion it works on a sentimental level rather than a gripping way. But in the end that is a good tone to take with the final instalment of a series, a chance to look back on an amazing spectacle rather than live in the moment as much. Though Jackson may have overstepped his reach a bit with the Middle Earth saga, you wouldn’t want to live in a world without it.

Result: 7/10

PS: This is my last review of the year, I will do a best and worst list after I’ve seen the American releases coming here after the new year. Until then have a very happy new year, goodbye 2014, hello 2015. 

Paddington

"Stranger danger, there's some sort of bear over there, probably selling something."

For certain generations their childhood has taken quite a knock in recent years, with Postman Pat being turned into a film that looked more like a parody of the Terminator and Top Cat becoming some god-awful animation film that looked as if it were made for 99p. So here is one of the most prestigious children’s properties in Britain, what can this update do to impress us?

Having travelled to London a small bear finds himself lost and alone, Until he is taken in with the kindly though slightly dysfunctional Brown family. It seems as though he has found a safe haven until he catches the eye of a museum taxidermist.

This film is hilariously charming. I can say it instantly, it leverages off of that fondness we all have for this beloved figure. While many adaptations fail to capture the tone and humour of the original series, Paddington does both in fine style. There’s an excellent mix of intelligent and child humour that recreates the atmosphere of what it is based upon like nothing before it.

It was a great reaction to hear, among the laughter in the cinema, huge sighs of relief from all the parents thinking ‘Yes, they’ve actually got it right.’ Director and writer Paul King is clearly a huge fan and this does not for one second have the feel of a cash grab. It feels like someone wanted to make a present for young and old viewers with universal themes of environmentalism, acceptance and family.

The film has such a great look and feel to it. The streets of London are beautifully shot in all its glory, it makes you proud to be British in a way. The multiculturalism shines through in an appropriate way given the film’s content. The animation of Paddington himself was breath-taking, the small bear looked so natural and real (helped by the great performances by the real-life actors), I get the feeling some children may have their hearts broken when they learn about CGI. As well as this Ben Wishaw embodies the character so well, he is now Paddington, it’s as simple as that.

As I said before, though it’s mostly aimed at children there are a few nods to parents as well. Possibly my favourite scene has to be the kids imagining their father (Hugh Bonneville) as a rebel biker in his youth, cue Bonneville pretending to be just that. My first reaction was that it looked ridiculous and stupid, but of course it’s supposed to look that way because children can’t imagine their parents as being anything other than ridiculous. Even more hilarious is the next scene where a leather clad Bonneville dismounts his motorcycle, walks into a hospital where his wife is giving birth, only to walk out later wearing a beige cardigan and carrying a baby, the transformation explained with, ‘Becoming a father can change a man.’

Speaking of Bonneville, he and the rest of the cast do a fantastic job here. The Brown family function so well and so humorously that you feel as if a bear would not be needed to make the film interesting. The supporters like Nicole Kidman and Julie Walters were also wonderful and then you get the celebrity cameos, from Matt Lucas as a cockney taxi driver to Peter Capaldi as the Brown’s disgruntled neighbour.

Paddington manages to be the exact two things you want a film like this to be. It remains nostalgic and charming but maintains a modern and child friendly vibe as it should. I cannot imagine anyone disliking it, except marmalade haters perhaps.

Result: 8/10    

Men, Women and Children

"I have installed a camera in my daughter's brain and a seven digit pin code on her vagina."

The internet is really crawling into the fabric of modern filmmaking by now. Who would be better to direct a film Like Men, Women and Children than Jason Reitman, the director of Juno and Up in the Air. Like previous projects it is based on a novel and it in this one, it’s very difficult to work out what he wanted to accomplish.

This story offers a look at how social media and technology in general has influenced and affected the professional and personal lives of different people. We see their interactive and their private lives over the internet.

It is difficult to know where to start a review of this film. It has an ensemble cast that gives an average-ish performance. But that’s about it, the only really positive thing I can say about it. The story comes from middle class America and is done in that slice of life style but to use the term story would be an overstatement. The events depicted in the film take virtually no direction. There are no twists or turns, it plays out in the exact way that you expect it to and in the loosest possible form.

Out of all the topics that are tackled here, privacy, sex, pornography, adultery, cyber bullying, exploitation and of course social media, none of them are really addressed. They all appear as issues but there doesn’t seem to be any difference of opinion expressed throughout the film at any of them, but they all receive so little attention and a formulaic dissection any way that it doesn’t really matter. 

The script is fairly bland and dull, it fails to challenge any social aesthetic or opinion but instead adopts the continuous tone. It successfully introduces the characters and while their settings are interesting the script never grabbed me after that. Mainly because it does feel quite conventional and transparent, it’s clear that this marriage will lead to an affair and another will ruin her daughter’s social life with constant observations, we know what will happen, we are not interested. As I said before there is no clear story method here, it’s just events as they take place with no clear narrative or structure.

There’s also a hint of men, Women and Children being too self-righteous and moral to its audience. It is as if this entire film was written by the helicopter parents it portrays. It shows the internet as almost a disease that seeps into families and destroys them. I’m not exaggerating when I say this, much of the film sees the internet from one perspective, that it is dangerous. I’m not saying  that it isn’t at times, but it is hard for me to hate it because it’s the reason I can tell you what I thought of this film.

The ways in which the characters are brought down do not really appear to be universally true, especially in this context. It appears that more attention should be brought to the fact that the character’s own lusts are what destroys them, the internet is just an accessing point for the element that bring about their downfall. If you gave a man a gun and he deliberately shot himself would you blame the gun?

It doesn’t seem to know a lot about the technology it describes either. It presents an idealised view of what older people perceive technology to be, something negative. There’s a disregard for realism when it comes to dealing with the mechanics of the internet or actually giving the correct mood, like glamourizing internet dating for one thing.

With an unrealistic, narrow minded and formulaic approach to its subject matter, Men, Women and Children doesn’t stand out or provoke discussion.

Result: 2/10